Romans 1

JC and I have decided to start reading a chapter of the Bible each night. What helps me "get" what I read is to write about it. Tonight we started with Romans. I love Romans. I don't know why but I always have. Paul just wrote such tough love in there! Nothing is very sugar-coated but it still is so encouraging. Anyway, here it goes...

Romans 1:
At the beginning of the chapter Paul opens by introducing himself as a devoted slave to Jesus Christ, explains the call given to Christians ("Through Him we received both the generous gift of His life and the urgent task of passing it on to others who receive him by entering into obedient trust in Jesus. You are who you are through this gift and call of Jesus Christ!"), and expressing his gratitude toward God for the people. Here it hit me just how true the statement "The longer this waiting goes on, the deeper the ache" must be. Paul opens his letters to the churches like this not just as a formality...he isn't saying all of these things "just because". He really means it. He says it because he wants these people to be reminded of their duties as Christians. He says it because he wants them to know he cares about them and he misses them. And he aches because he can't be there.
Romans 1:18-25 :

Which made me think...
God used Paul in so many incredible ways. But before God used him, Paul was Saul who persecuted and ultimately executed Christians. So, similarly to Moses not being allowed to enter the Promise Land, was Paul chained to a soldier/imprisoned/somehow kept from visiting Rome while he wrote these letters as his "punishment" for what he had done wrong? He was allowed to fulfill his calling and continue to minister, but he was not allowed to fellowship with the people. I know God forgives us of our sins, but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences for our actions. Just a thought...("I so want to be there to deliver God's gift in person and watch you grow stronger before my eyes!")

The second part of the chapter was a doozy.

This part talked of people who refused to accept that God is plain enough or that His plan is enough.  "People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat Him like God, refusing to worship Him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. ...they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God that made them... "
This threw me for a loop. It can be interpreted a ton of ways. I used to refuse to see how that could have ANY similarities to my life but tonight I just couldn't. Not getting into medical school was devastating....or was it? I'm healthy, I have good relationships with my family (probably closer than they've been in awhile) and a much closer relationship with God. I know medicine is my calling. I've felt that call since before I can remember. Recently I was reminded of knowing I wanted to be a doctor early enough to ask for a child's doctor kit for my second birthday. But have I made my calling my fake god and lost sight of the God that created it for me? I think...or I'm pretty sure that I got so caught up in fulfilling my destiny (wow that sounds cheesy doesn't it?) or answering that call last summer/fall that I trivialized myself into silliness and confusion so that I had no direction left once I was denied. 
Now that I'm preparing to apply again, I find myself extremely "religious" in high stress but slacking when the stress is gone. That's not good. I want my life to be spent serving God through medicine, not serving medicine by the grace of God. He called me to it, I just need to focus on Him and He will bring me to it.

Romans 1:26-32:
This was bizarre. It's like Paul is writing about now. "Refusing to know God, the soon didn't know how to be  human either...Since they didn't bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. And them all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering, and cheating." How much of this do I support? Gossip, drunkenness, cursing, sexual immorality... even if not in person, I watch it on TV don't it? I watched 3 hours of Bridezillas today, that covered all of those and more!
"They ditch their parents when they get in the way...And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they're spitting in God's face. And they don't care --what's worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!" This is everything social media, tv, radio, books, etc. Just because I don't actively participate doesn't make me a saint. I'm not actively fighting against it, am I?
Just a thought...



God you are my God, 
I thank you for your Word and your Will. I pray it be my will. Please help me to place my gods aside and focus fully on you. 
In your name,
Amen